Socks on the Floor

Have you ever woke up in a bad mood, but didn't know why?  It's as if, during the night, all the baggage you stewed about for the past week converged at the front of your psyche and you woke up ready to fight with the first thing you saw.  

Even something so small as a sock lying on the floor can set you off.  You get up and kick it across the floor as if it's the fault of the sock that it somehow animated itself and deliberately jumped out of the hamper and landed on the floor, just to piss you off.  Or, if you're an all-or-nothing, scorched earth sort of person, you decide to grab it off the floor, find its mate, and throw the pair in the trash, because you can't take a chance on both of them rebelling against you.  You know that if you let them get away with that kind of behavior, the next thing you know, there will be a coup, and your hamper full of dirty laundry will literally take over.  There will be dingy socks scattered on the floor, stained shirts loafing on the furniture, and dirty underwear dangling from the light fixtures.

Then, the dishes in the sink will hear about it, and launch their own takeover, thrusting your entire home into a state of chaos.

If you let it, waking up that way will set the tone for the rest of your day.  It doesn't matter what caused it.  It could be anything from lack of sleep to dehydration, to hormonal changes, to nutritional deficiencies, to the fact that you stayed up too late watching a movie.  Regardless, you have to get a hold of "it" before "it" gets ahold of you.  The "it" I'm referring to is that really shitty mood that grabs you first thing in the morning and won't let go.  While it can affect anyone at any time, this is a frequent struggle for people with C-PTSD.  You have the power to overcome it, but you need to find your "thing."  The thing that works to get you out of your own head.

Gratitude helps.

Find one thing to be grateful for.  Nothing is too small or too stupid.  After all, this is your moment. Your day.  Your life.  If you are thankful for something, express it.  Speak it out loud.  It doesn't matter whether you thank God, thank the universe, or thank the thing itself.  The goal here is to shift your mood and improve your sense of self.

Try this experiment:

Get out of bed, pour yourself an 8-ounce glass of water, and drink it.  I say 8 ounces because you want enough water to start hydrating your cells, but not so much that it just runs through you.  This important step will begin to rehydrate you.  Most people are mildly to moderately dehydrated, which affects your mood, your sleep, and your overall health.  

Step into a hot shower.  Are you grateful for having a hot shower to step into? How good does that water feel on your body? What about the sound of the shower running?  Does it soothe your mind?  Lather up. Think about the feel and the scent of your shampoo as you massage your scalp.  Rinse.  Gaze down at the drain and envision all the chaos swirling away from you.

How many things did you find to be grateful for?  

Sometimes, one of the first steps to healing from complex trauma is learning to find one thing that gets you out of your own head.

When you allow yourself to express gratitude for the mundane things in life, you will quickly find that you have a lot more to be thankful for than you thought. So, tomorrow morning, when you wake up, think of at least one thing you are grateful for before you get out of bed.  Then, maybe, something so small as a sock on the floor won’t trigger your fight response, and you can save your sanity for the day’s more meaningful battles.