Your Forgotten Child

This sculpture by Alexander Milov, "Love," speaks volumes about the current state of the world. There is so much hatred and division among adults, yet I believe our inner children want to connect with each other and be kind. Grown-up pride won't allow it, though, because as adults, we always have to be right. Beneath the layers of resentment, fear, and ego, our truest selves - our inner children - desperately long to love and be loved. But the unspoken wounds and silent pride often keep us from healing and reconnecting. 

Childhood trauma specialist, Tim Fletcher, speaks about the deep emotional needs of children. He emphasizes that every child, no matter their circumstances, seeks love, safety, and connection. These needs don’t disappear as we grow older; rather, they get buried under the armor we develop to navigate an often unforgiving world. When conflicts arise, our adult selves react defensively, distancing us from the very connection we need to heal.

Milov’s sculpture is a visual representation of this inner struggle. The adult figures, rigid and closed off, symbolize the pride and pain that keep us apart. Meanwhile, the inner children, uninhibited by resentment, embody the pure and simple desire to reconnect. Yet, they remain trapped, unable to break through the barriers erected by their adult counterparts.

Experiences of rejection, betrayal, and disappointment teach us to suppress vulnerability. Pride tells us that reaching out might make us look weak, that it is safer to stay behind our emotional walls than to risk being hurt again. However, in protecting ourselves, we also isolate ourselves.

This cycle of pride and disconnection not only affects romantic relationships but extends to friendships, families, and even society as a whole. How many times have we seen relationships crumble because neither party was willing to take the first step toward reconciliation? How often do we allow disagreements to define our relationships rather than seeking understanding?

So, how do we bridge this gap? How do we free our inner children and allow them to connect? Here are some steps we can take:

1. Acknowledge the Inner Child – Recognizing that beneath our defenses lies a wounded but hopeful child is the first step to healing. When we become aware of this part of ourselves, we can better understand our emotional responses.

2. Let Go of Pride – Pride often serves as a false protector. True strength lies in vulnerability. Taking the first step toward reconciliation, even if it feels uncomfortable, is an act of courage, not weakness.

3. Practice Empathy – Seeing the inner child in others can transform our perception. When we view people not as adversaries but as individuals carrying their own wounds, it becomes easier to extend compassion.

4. Communicate with Openness – Honest conversations, free from blame and defensiveness, pave the way for understanding. Expressing our feelings and listening with an open heart can dismantle walls built over years of silence.

5. Choose Connection Over Ego – When faced with conflict, ask yourself: Is being right more important than being connected? Prioritizing love over pride allows relationships to heal and flourish.

Just as Milov's "Love" depicts the struggle between pride and vulnerability, it also offers hope because we see the inner children still reaching out. The possibility of connection remains, waiting for us to choose it.

By embracing the innocence, love, and openness of our inner child, we can begin to mend what betrayal, rejection, and disappointment have broken. True healing comes not from winning arguments or proving a point but from the simple yet powerful act of reaching out—just as the children in Milov’s sculpture long to do.

In the end, love is always within reach. We only need the courage to break free from our self-imposed prisons and take the first step toward one another.