Begonias Do Not Like Full Sun and Intense Heat

It took most of the summer, but the Begonias finally decided to bloom.  They do not like intense heat and full sun blazing down on them all day.  While they arrived full of buds in the late spring, they never bloomed well. I think I saw one or two at a time throughout part of the summer, even when I shaded them.  I eventually moved them under a tree where they receive partial sun in the morning and dappled sun in the afternoon.  After a few days, the buds burst into lovely blooms.  I haven't decided whether I will plant these again in the spring.  I may try for a hardier variety that is a little more drought-tolerant.  Since our average first frost occurs from late October through early November, these have plenty of time to grow.

Atrial Fibrillation and Intermittent Fasting: Is IF Doing More Harm Than Good?

I came across an article today about intermittent fasting and wanted to share my own experience with it. I've included the link to the article at the bottom of this post.

I have been doing IF 18:6 for some years now, but lately had started noticing a lot of muscle weakness, inability to focus, irritability, extreme fatigue, and joint pain, as well as a significant increase in AFib episodes. I had also gained ten pounds since my last doctor visit, three months ago, which completely floored me. He asked me if I knew what intermittent fasting was and if I had ever tried it. I told him I was fasting every day for 18 hours. I decided to scale back on intermittent fasting. The first thing I noticed was that the AFib episodes decreased. Within a couple of weeks, all the other symptoms disappeared.

When intermittent fasting became "the thing," it seemed to be the cure-all for every ailment. If you were eating the Standard American Diet, you were likely overweight, your body was inflamed, your hormones were out of whack, and you were insulin-resistant. You needed to scale back to eating one or two meals per day and fasting for 18 hours or more to shift your body into a state of autophagy. Autophagy is your body's way of taking sickly, or otherwise non-functioning cells and either getting rid of them or recycling and regenerating them. There is much literature available on autophagy and what it does that I'll discuss in another post.

I developed atrial fibrillation after contracting Covid in late 2020. After doing a deep dive into how to heal my body naturally, I changed my diet and began intermittent fasting in 2021. Everyone on the holistic medicine community was recommending it. Of course, it had not been thoroughly tested. Many hypothesized that we should eat like our ancestors did. They ate infrequently and went for long periods with no food. They didn't fast on purpose. They ate when food was plentiful and went without when it wasn't.

Lately, there have been grumblings throughout natural medicine that perhaps intermittent fasting isn't all that it's cracked up to be, especially for women. Women's bodies, after all, are different. They are designed to hold onto fat and to support life. That's why it's harder for women to lose weight than it is for men. Intermittent fasting creates too big of a deficit. Eventually, the gains that we thought we were making by fasting for long periods of time were being lost.

I am not a medical expert. However, I think the information is compelling enough to warrant a reconsideration of whether IF is more harmful than beneficial.  After reading this article, reviewing a number of studies, and listening to the experts, I doubt that I will go back to intermittent fasting.  Our bodies require food to produce energy.  Taking our fuel source away for an extended time is the same as expecting to drive the whole way across the continent on a 1/3 tank of gas.

The article below was written by Dr. Brad Stanfield. Dr. Stanfield is a general practitioner based in Auckland, New Zealand. I have been following him for quite some time and have a great deal of respect and admiration for him. I believe that he genuinely cares for people and wants to help them. I have learned a great deal from him about health and nutrition.

https://drstanfield.com/blogs/articles/longevity-experts-warning-fasting?_kx=YDuBjjadEJuOoKEVf8FOvvB0jJdVtoiaoavxACxueII.Ws2UjD

Male Ruby Throated Hummingbird Guarding the Feeder

 

A male hummingbird at the feeder. He has been sitting at this feeder for much of the day. He will periodically go to one of the others, but always comes back to this one. He will sometimes share it with a female. Other times, he will run her off. I love these little guys so much. I put out 4 feeders this year. I clean them out and replenish the nectar every other day. I have bought the Pennington brand of nectar, but will start making my own soon. Remember, the ratio is 1 part granulated white sugar to 4 parts water. Do not use any kind of dye. It is very harmful to them. By the way, it looks like the feeder is empty. It isn't. I checked it this afternoon, and the bottom still has nectar in it. I don't fill them all the way up, since I change the nectar every other day. I only add about a half a cup. If they start consuming more, I will add more. For now, though, a half cup at a time in each feeder is more than enough for the number of birds that I have, and I always make sure they can reach it.

I do want to share a bit of a sad story… or rather one that makes me angry, still to this day. A few years ago, an “acquaintance,” I will call her, "Judy," decided to start feeding hummingbirds on her back deck. After a brief time, she became incensed that one of them was dominating the feeder. Obviously, she never read up on them to know that this is normal behavior for them. Rather than educate herself, take the advice of the experts, and spend $4 on another feeder, or just take down the one feeder, and stop feeding them, she had her adult son shoot and kill the hummingbird with an Airsoft gun. He is the one who told me about it. This was after I told him not to do it. She later told me that she had him kill the hummingbird, “Because she hates a bully.” Her son had his teenage son bury the bird in the yard. Of course, it was a big joke, and none of them ever felt any remorse about it. They simply made excuses. I realize that we have to forgive people for their ignorance, but this still really bothers me. Perhaps, it's because I didn't unload my thoughts on her when I had the chance. At the time, I don't think I could have reacted to the situation with any degree of tact. If you can’t commit to feeding hummingbirds, or any other birds for that matter, and you aren’t willing, or able, to learn about their behaviors, and how to do things the right way, so as not to harm them, please don’t bother feeding them. They will find food elsewhere. With that being said, I am not trying to discourage anyone from taking up the hobby. It can be incredibly rewarding to feed birds, study their behaviors, and learn about them, and we should do what we can to help, since their natural habitats are disappearing due to urban spread. However, it requires a commitment of time and money, and sometimes, the ability to be creative and think outside of the box to make it all work (i.e. providing fresh food and water, cleaning the feeders and watering stations regularly, having multiple feeders and watering stations, etc). If you decide you want to feed hummingbirds, or other birds, there are tons of books, videos, and other resources that will teach you how to do things that will help and not harm these precious friends. And remember... anything you can do to help pollinators thrive, whether hummingbirds, bees, butterflies, and other species, will be highly beneficial to our planet and every living thing.

Only Trust Someone Who Can See These 3 Things in You

My Happy Little Place

I bought a solar fountain for the birds... but mostly for me. Right now, this is my happy little place.

As much as I love clouds, I love the birds. I delight in their singing.  All of nature can soothe the most savage heart and calm the most chaotic mind.  I can be having the worst day, but as soon as I step outdoors, hear the birds and cicadas singing, feel the breeze as it whispers through the trees, and see the cotton ball clouds drifting overhead, it completely transforms me.  It's funny.  I spent years never going outdoors unless I had to. I rarely ever even opened my blinds. 

One day, I did though, and it made such a difference.  If you are in a dark place, let in some light. 

Dragonflies

Dragonflies fascinate me. I have seen more this summer than in past years. It may be because I planted flowers. From my office window, I can watch them darting back and forth throughout the day.  Early this morning, I went out to water the flowers before the heat index reached DEFCON scorched earth, and I saw this fellow on the side of the house.  I saw a second one on the pavement that was a beautiful green.  That photo didn't come out as well, but I'll share it anyway. I hope to get a better one soon.

Isn't he a beauty?

Of course, an added benefit of attracting dragonflies is that they eat mosquitoes.  If you want to attract dragonflies to your yard, consider planting Yarrow, Milkweed, Back-eyed Susan, Meadow Sage, or any other number of pollinator-friendly plants.  It also helps to have a water feature in your yard, such as a birdbath or pond.  Since dragonflies are aquatic and begin their lives in water, this will give them a place to breed.  If you're worried about attracting mosquitoes, mosquito larvae can't thrive in water that's two feet deep, but dragonfly babies can.

A Necessary Indulgence

 

The heat index here is 108 and climbing.  An hour north of me, a year ago, it was 127.  On a day like today, ice cream is a necessary indulgence.  I don't typically care for fruited ice cream, but I have to admit, this combination is very good.  I would definitely buy these again.  Bordeaux Cherry Amaretto (black cherries, almonds, amaretto) and Amaretto Peach Charlotte (peaches, ladyfinger cookies, and almonds).  The almonds in this concoction are healthy, no?

At least I got the flowers to come back.  Between the heat and the insects, I was about ready to toss everything into the trash.  I had set the containers on the concrete patio, and the radiant heat was burning up the roots.  Aphids and some little green caterpillars had also taken up residence among the leaves.  Even though I had treated them for aphids, and had been watering them every other day, they were nearly all dead, except for a few spindly stalks of green. I moved the containers onto the lawn, and within three days, they were turning green and blooming again.  I even have a few begonias bursting into blooms. I will post some photos soon.

I noticed a Blue Jay on the edge of the birdbath today, but he didn't drink from it, or bathe in it. I wonder if it's too deep.  I had placed a large glass pie plate out on the ground as a temporary birdbath.  It saw lots of action, but I wanted something taller, since stray cats and other wildlife roam the yard.  The birdbath doesn't get used nearly as much.  I ordered a solar fountain for it and will drop the water depth a bit when it shows up tomorrow. Pics to follow.

When Flowers Bloom Into Wishes

It's mid-July. The summer is wasting away. The days are so hot now that walking outdoors is like walking into a blast furnace and the 100+ heat threatens to scorch your brain cells. Still, being outdoors is a thousand times better than being stuck inside staring at a computer screen all day. So, I drag the lawn chair to the backyard, sit in the sun, and listen to the songs of the birds and the cicadas. Their sounds bring a sense of peace and calm from the chaotic clamoring in my mind. 

Back in March, I had started thinking about planting wildflowers in the backyard to reduce my lawn. Lawns are silly. They don't serve much purpose. The grass grows, and we cut it, or pay someone else to cut it, once a week... once every two weeks... It's a stalemate between you and the grass, and it's a complete waste of time, money, and energy. 

It's not that well-manicured lawns look bad. They don't. But why not plant something useful and create manicured walking paths among the wildflowers? The wildflowers will feed the birds, and the bees, and the butterflies. They will drink the rain and the dew, and display their glorious blooms for a season. When they wither, they will feed the soil, provide cover for insects and small mammals, reseed themselves, and break forth to bloom again in the spring.

The most well-manicured lawn can't compete with that.

The days tick by... the months... the seasons. I stare at the lawn, which has withered and browned in the intense southwest heat. The parched earth splits apart from the summer drought.  "Be careful where you walk," I tell myself, while prickly blades of grass crunch under my bare feet.  As odd as it sounds, I find the brown, dying lawn more appealing now than when it was lush and green. 

A not-so-random thought emerges that I speak out loud to myself. "It's too late to plant anything, now." And I derive a sense of relief knowing that the time to plant has indeed long passed, and I am, somehow, now absolved of the responsibility, because I never planted the wildflowers. I only dreamt about them. I only wrote about them, and became lost in the overwhelm.  

The overwhelm is my near-constant companion. It's the precursor to procrastination.  It's the thing that keeps me from moving forward on any project.

You've heard the phrase, "You have to eat the elephant one bite at a time."

Focusing on the overwhelm is the brain envisioning you eating the whole elephant all at once, rather than taking it on one bite at a time.  It lets you see the goal on the other side, and it lets you see where you are at the starting point, but everything in between resembles a Jackson Pollock painting. There is no form. There is no path. There is no way to get there from here. So, you sink into procrastination, and you abandon yet another project that may have brought you a bit of joy and a sense of accomplishment. The pattern of procrastination always leaves a void.

Fall comes. Winter comes. Another spring. Another summer. And the flowers bloom into wishes.

The Uses of Sorrow by Mary Oliver

(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)

Someone I loved once gave me

a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand

that this, too, was a gift.

- “The Uses of Sorrow” by Mary Oliver (1935-2019), from "Thirst," 2007. Beacon Press.

Your Forgotten Child

This sculpture by Alexander Milov, "Love," speaks volumes about the current state of the world. There is so much hatred and division among adults, yet I believe our inner children want to connect with each other and be kind. Grown-up pride won't allow it, though, because as adults, we always have to be right. Beneath the layers of resentment, fear, and ego, our truest selves - our inner children - desperately long to love and be loved. But the unspoken wounds and silent pride often keep us from healing and reconnecting. 

Childhood trauma specialist, Tim Fletcher, speaks about the deep emotional needs of children. He emphasizes that every child, no matter their circumstances, seeks love, safety, and connection. These needs don’t disappear as we grow older; rather, they get buried under the armor we develop to navigate an often unforgiving world. When conflicts arise, our adult selves react defensively, distancing us from the very connection we need to heal.

Milov’s sculpture is a visual representation of this inner struggle. The adult figures, rigid and closed off, symbolize the pride and pain that keep us apart. Meanwhile, the inner children, uninhibited by resentment, embody the pure and simple desire to reconnect. Yet, they remain trapped, unable to break through the barriers erected by their adult counterparts.

Experiences of rejection, betrayal, and disappointment teach us to suppress vulnerability. Pride tells us that reaching out might make us look weak, that it is safer to stay behind our emotional walls than to risk being hurt again. However, in protecting ourselves, we also isolate ourselves.

This cycle of pride and disconnection not only affects romantic relationships but extends to friendships, families, and even society as a whole. How many times have we seen relationships crumble because neither party was willing to take the first step toward reconciliation? How often do we allow disagreements to define our relationships rather than seeking understanding?

So, how do we bridge this gap? How do we free our inner children and allow them to connect? Here are some steps we can take:

1. Acknowledge the Inner Child – Recognizing that beneath our defenses lies a wounded but hopeful child is the first step to healing. When we become aware of this part of ourselves, we can better understand our emotional responses.

2. Let Go of Pride – Pride often serves as a false protector. True strength lies in vulnerability. Taking the first step toward reconciliation, even if it feels uncomfortable, is an act of courage, not weakness.

3. Practice Empathy – Seeing the inner child in others can transform our perception. When we view people not as adversaries but as individuals carrying their own wounds, it becomes easier to extend compassion.

4. Communicate with Openness – Honest conversations, free from blame and defensiveness, pave the way for understanding. Expressing our feelings and listening with an open heart can dismantle walls built over years of silence.

5. Choose Connection Over Ego – When faced with conflict, ask yourself: Is being right more important than being connected? Prioritizing love over pride allows relationships to heal and flourish.

Just as Milov's "Love" depicts the struggle between pride and vulnerability, it also offers hope because we see the inner children still reaching out. The possibility of connection remains, waiting for us to choose it.

By embracing the innocence, love, and openness of our inner child, we can begin to mend what betrayal, rejection, and disappointment have broken. True healing comes not from winning arguments or proving a point but from the simple yet powerful act of reaching out—just as the children in Milov’s sculpture long to do.

In the end, love is always within reach. We only need the courage to break free from our self-imposed prisons and take the first step toward one another.

Peanut Butter and Jelly

It’s the age-old problem. What do you want to eat? You look through the fridge. Milk. Cheese. Dates (those are healthy, right)? Butter. Pickles. Ketchup. Mayonnaise. Mustard. Strawberry preserves (another health food… sort of). Long forgotten, unidentifiable leftovers from another time (Yeah, I should probably throw that away the next time the trash runs)… I should also probably shop for groceries and get some grown-up food. 

The freezer doesn’t yield much better results. 

The pantry is just depressing. 

I spot a jar of peanut butter in the corner on a shelf, reach for it, and hold it up in the air as if it’s some cosmic trophy.

“Alas, all is not lost. We shall feast, and feast we shall.” I said out loud to the universe, as I glanced down at my cat, Lilly, who was neither impressed nor amused. She simply blinked, flicked her tail in the air, and walked away with that dismissive swagger that only a cat owner knows.

I pulled a package of flatbread from the freezer and tossed a piece into the toaster oven. Once warm, I slathered some peanut butter and strawberry preserves on it, and lunch was served with a side of cold milk. Behold, the peanut butter and jelly on warm flatbread sandwich (at least it’s more grown-up than plain old white bread… maybe). 

My tastebuds have never grown up. Breakfast consisted of banana pancakes, with chocolate chips, and a hot cup of coffee that I set down somewhere, and still have yet to find, among the mental chaos that fills my days. It’s long cold by now. Not suitable for a morning brew, but perhaps salvageable for an afternoon icy mocha with a drizzle of chocolate syrup.